*I spoke recently at our local MomCo group and thought I would edit my talk a little to share here on the blog. Hope it speaks to you.
My parenting journey has been a long haul of great endurance and trust in God. As the mom of three girls, two of which had medical crisis’s at birth and now have special medical needs, I know what it means to endure in parenting. Even more, I know what it means to endure in trials and crisis. I also know the toll it takes when we don’t endure well and when we push our own needs aside for the sake of those around us.
Endurance is the ability to continue an activity or work for a prolonged period of time, especially when faced with fatigue, stress, or other adverse conditions. It can also refer to the ability to withstand or recover from trauma, wounds, or fatigue.
When we endure through tough times, there are a few key things we need to remember.
- First, take care of you.
We cannot endure if we are running on empty.
Taking care of you will look different for everyone.
Think about the things you love; what are your passions, what gets you excited. Find ways to incorporate those things in your life. It is ok and healthy to step away from the routines and trials of life and continue to do things for you and to enjoy the things that make you feel like you.
2. Second-Find Your People
We are not called to do life alone. After my daughter Clara was born and I had long hard days home alone taking care of a toddler and being a nurse to a newborn. One afternoon a mentor mom happened to stop by my house when I was in the middle of a lot of dark feelings & guilt. She took the baby from my arms, sat me down and just let me cry.
We need the people in our lives who will just sit with us and let us cry. We need people who are in the thick of it with us. We need people who are on the other side of it who can encourage and support us.
3. Third-learn to let go.
Expectations are great things, but expectations can sometimes cause us undue anxiety and stress. There are times when keeping house and folding the laundry right out of the dryer is the right thing to do. And there are days when the clothes will sit on the couch for a week. We need to prioritize what makes sense for that season, that trial and let go of what we can.
4. Fourth, everything is a season.
No matter what you may be going through right now, it won’t stay like this forever. I promise. It will pass, you will endure and things will change. Think about what you need to do for the next day, hour, minute and know, it won’t stay like this forever.
I have a very dear friend who has two sets of twins two years apart. I have often thought in my head, “I just don’t know how she does it!” There have been times when we have talked on the phone about the medical things my girls have gone through and I know she is also thinking, “I don’t know how Jayme does it.” But in our hearts, we both know how we do it. It’s because of Jesus. Our faith in Jesus sustains us and helps us endure the things we have each gone through as parents and as women of faith.
Romans 5:3-5 says:
“We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.”
Whether it is a trial in parenting, a trial in relationships, a medical trial or something else. The things we endure and walk through are there to make us stronger. For me, each of my trials as a parent has brought me closer to God and deepened my relationship with Jesus, because at the end of the day, He was all I had. And each time He showed up huge ways and helped me through.
Remember, we need to take care of ourselves, find out people to go with us on the journey, learn to let some things go, embrace each season and most importantly, lean into God for strength, wisdom and rest.
